October 15 is recognized as Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. On this day, we remember all of the mothers and fathers and families grieving their little ones that had such little time here on earth. Whether from miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of an infant, the pain of losing a child is one that pierces the heart in a unique way.
The Grief We Too Often Carry in Silence
The truth is in our world today, parents are given such little support or even acknowledgement of the impact this can have on the weeks, months and years following. In our society, where it is common for babies in the womb to not be acknowledged as babies until it’s confirmed that the mother actually desires to have this baby, it is so easy for miscarriages to be dismissed or for the grief to be considered as melodramatic.
However, in any other scenario where you have the loss of an immediate family member it is common to have bereavement time given, for there to be an understood time of mourning. Yet, in many cases with miscarriage, women are praying and hoping the worst of their loss doesn’t happen during a work day or while they are out at the grocery store. They may end up taking one or two sick days off work or ask their husband to help with cooking or dishes for a couple days, but then try to keep going back to life as usual.
Our community is meant to be there for us; it is an area where we can grow in learning to give and receive love.
The Wave of Light: Remembering Together
We are thankful for days like October 15 and for events like “International Wave of Light” where people all over the world light a candle at 7pm in their time zone and leave it burning for one hour creating a wave of light across the globe in remembrance.
Guiding Star Cedar Valley and Guiding Star Marshalltown host an events for the Wave of Light and offers miscarriage and infant loss grief support in their centers. Our Guiding Star centers across the country are supporting women and couples in this area so beautifully.
We all need events like these, whether we have lost a child of our own or not. It is our chance to be a community for those that need it, to let the tears flow, to feel what sometimes feels like it’s not the proper place or time to feel it, to be the one with tissues or a shoulder to cry on or that big bear hug.
We all play a role in the healing of our world today.
Recognizing the Need for Postpartum Care After Loss
If we truly believe life begins at conception, the biological truth and reality is that after a loss at any stage of pregnancy or of her infant, this mother is postpartum: she has delivered a baby from her womb and needs time to heal.
Sometimes the physical healing takes more or less time at different stages, but maybe the emotional and spiritual healing is the part that takes longer in others.
No matter what the scenario, what would it look like if we, as a community, brought women a postpartum meal or offered babysitting if she has other children or offered help cleaning or laundry, just the same as we would for a mother in postpartum caring for her infant?
I think it could speak volumes.
Miscarriage Support Resources
One new resource for helping families heal together is a new children’s book by The Little Rose Shop, The Gardener: A Gentle Story for Families about Child Loss, designed to help families navigate the loss of a baby with faith, love, and hope. We are excited to help share this as it is so beautifully written and we know it will help bring healing to many.
Pre-order The Gardener Book → Code GSP10 saves you 10% & gives 10% to Guiding Star
Shop The Little Rose Shop: Code GSP10 saves you 10% → Plus gives 10% back to Guiding Star
OTHER RESOURCES AND SUPPORT GROUPS
Explore Heaven’s Gain Ministries →
Many of our Guiding Star Centers offer Miscarriage and Infant Loss Support Groups → FIND A CENTER NEAR ME
View upcoming Miscarriage and Infant Loss Support Group at Guiding Star Cedar Valley, Iowa →
View upcoming Miscarriage and Infant Loss Peer Support Event at Guiding Star Marshalltown, Iowa →
Laura Ducote, FNP-C, FCP is a wife, mother of four on earth, Family Nurse Practitioner and FertilityCare Practitioner. She has over a decade of experience in teaching natural family planning and providing a restorative, whole-person approach to women’s healthcare. Her Restorative Reproductive Medicine training includes Naprotechnology, the Creighton Model, and FEMM Medical Management.
She sees adolescent and adult women with an emphasis on hormonal balance for an array of women’s health problems including PCOS, painful periods, irregular cycles, thyroid disease, infertility, recurrent pregnancy loss, postpartum care, and peri/menopausal changes. She is very passionate about providing education on all topics of women’s healthcare and practicing medicine that integrates mind, body, and soul, inviting the Divine Physician into every step of the process. Laura and her family reside in Pelham, Alabama. Telehealth Available for Minnesota Woman: Book a appointment with Laura →
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