A Mother's Pain

 

It was a time of intense trial and suffering for our family. Of course no family or person is immune from hardship or suffering. Now it was our turn. As always, we had our faithful family members and friends at our side, helping us in practical and thoughtful ways.
It was during this time that friends brought me a worn, thrift store paperback of the classic, The End of the Affair, by Graham Green. The story didn’t relate to our situation whatsoever. A somewhat lost and self-seeking man takes another man’s wife as his mistress for a time, before she dies and the two men strike up an odd friendship.
While my description doesn’t seem profound, the novel asked the same questions that I was asking myself about life, suffering, and purpose. It was no surprise to me as to why our friends brought the book that day, which is why I was struck when the novel began with the words of the philosopher Leon Bloy, “Man has places in his heart which do not yet exist, and into them enters suffering, in order that they may have existence.”
As I’ve walked this path of motherhood carrying both joy and sorrow, I will boldly say that there is no motherhood without pain; that suffering is an inherent part of this mystical bond between mother and child.
With pregnancy there is pain.
There is pain in childbirth,
in miscarriage;
and infertility.
There is pain with breastfeeding,
sleep deprivation,
and babies who won’t stop crying.
There is pain when we experience our children’s pain.
There is pain with worry.
There is pain with fear.
There is pain with anticipation.
But suffering can reveal the finest parts of a mother. Parts that did not, or could not exist without the pain.
If we can be bold enough to call this experience “The Heart of A Mother,” then to reach it requires carving out a place in her heart, and adding the sweetness of the love, or want of a child, which can only come through suffering in one capacity or another.
I wouldn’t trade an ounce of the pain away. The suffering makes the joy that much sweeter.
photo credit: Storm Chasing Trip 2 via photopin (license)