It's Okay, You Can Be a Feminist

Our culture takes issue with the term ‘Feminist,’ by casting a singular light on it. A woman is either proudly a “feminist,” or takes insult at the term. Because “Feminist” can carry a connotation of the crass and crude, many women remove themselves from the term, despite their power to use their status boldly.
Feminism, in its true and literal sense is the voice of women being used to make change. You’ll never see me clad in pink while protesting and interrupting political speakers, nor lamenting my body for its gifts of child-bearing. I don’t speak for every woman, but I speak for me, and my circumstances, struggles, and needs. Not because I am oppressed or a victim, but because feminism encompasses my voice just as much as any other woman’s, regardless of how loud I might roar.
Some might choose to lump all feminism into the extreme and derogatory, but in doing so, they wake up the voices of females across the world who have worked, and are working, in their feminine ways, to improve the world.
Readers can decide if they want to believe that feminism only means the bra-burning fanaticism of Radical Feminism, but I choose otherwise. I choose my voice, and the voice of many other women. Why can’t feminism be about me too, the stay at home mother of 4 with Christian values? I argue that it CAN! Let’s distinguish Radical Feminism from New Feminism; Authentic Feminism, that which elevates the feminine mind, and places those virtues on a level playing field.
Suffrage aside, I only need to listen to the stories from my grandparents’ generation to know how feminism has impacted my life. It was not long ago when fathers were not allowed in the delivery room for the births of their own children, when women were discouraged from breastfeeding, or told they couldn’t breastfeed in certain places. In soft whispers I’ve heard of children dead at birth never named or buried, nor talked of again. Surely this was not the wish of women, and I boldly declare that it is the tenderness and strength of women and the voice of their feminism that has changed our society to address these needs.
To say we don’t need feminism is to say that men always know best. I’m sorry, but that’s just not the case.
I was speaking to a bereaved mother who lost her daughter at birth due to severe birth defects. While pregnant, she was told that if she were in the same situation many years ago, the baby would be have been whisked away at birth before she could even see her. The doctors would have told her that the baby was a “monster,” and that would have been the end of it. There would be no funeral, no burial, no talking about the child. It would have simply been ignored and forgotten—shamed.
But, the voice of bereaved mothers is the voice of feminism. Women who have fought and spoken for their unborn children, those who have demanded a dignified birth, naming, and burial of their children have gone before us and battled in order that we may exercise the freedom to do as our feminine hearts demand.
It is women who have broken the bonds of silence and declared that “Yes! We will talk about miscarriage and infertility. We will talk about the children that have gone before us. We will greet our stillbirths; we will kiss them goodbye; we will bury our children and give them a name. We will talk about the restrictions held upon us while giving birth. We will talk about breastfeeding. We will not be ashamed, and we will change society with our voice.”
As long as there are women being told they cannot breastfeed in public, women who are told they must abort a child who cannot live outside the womb, or women held prisoners in abusive relationships, we will need feminism. Women, more often than men, are the victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, and harassment. Worldwide, each country has its own problems to address. In fact, radical feminism has added to the oppression of true feminine virtues. The work of authentic feminism in the United States is far from over.
Feminism is not depraved. The real depravity is believing that that feminism has nothing to offer the countless circumstances women face, and that somehow the uniquely made female has nothing else to bring to the table.
Women are made female by no mistake or flaw. Authentic feminism can be used to elevate that understanding. Together, with our fathers, brothers, sons, husbands, and friends, respect for the heart and feminine mind is vital for the betterment of all society, families, and people. There is no shame in that.
photo credit: Emery Co Photo via photopin cc