The Illusion of Control and the Erosion of a Village

Control. It’s something that we all strive for, something that once we think we have, we hold onto for dear life. “My rules, my way.” It’s only when something tragic happens that we realize how much of an illusion control is.
The tragedy at the Cincinnati Zoo has brought this illusion of control to the forefront of our imaginations. Spend time reading articles and comments and you get the picture painted.
If only that mother had more control over her child, this would not have happened.
If only the trainers had more control over Harambee, this would not have happened.
If only the child had more self-control, this wouldn’t have happened.
If only we didn’t have free will…
After all, that’s what is being said, isn’t it? We thirst for control because of the chaos of free will. Rules, boundaries, walls, and patterns make us feel safe because they instill control where there is none. But what if instead of striving for control and then reacting when consequences occur that are beyond our control, we reach out and help?
Witnesses to the incident reported seeing the child start to climb through the enclosure opening… and no one stopped to help. The internet mob is calling for bodily harm to the child’s mother because she …was too busy… on her phone… had too many kids… all alone… not paying attention to her kids… etc., etc.
Talking to friends, we all have similar stories of that time when a child got away. I had a panic-inducing moment of loss this past week when traveling with the family to San Francisco and our youngest slipped away from the eyes of all of us as I was paying for crepes. Heck, even Mary and Joseph lost Jesus in Jerusalem for three days… and he was 12!
Does that make us bad parents because we do not have an iron clad control over another human being?
What if, rather than blaming the mom for even taking her child to the Zoo, we are just sad, sad for the whole situation. Sad for Harambee. Sad for the Zoo. Sad for the family. Sad for Harambee’s family. Sad for the city of Cincinnati. Sad for the parents. There is no reason there has to be a bad guy because sometimes there just isn’t a bad guy.
Free will allows stuff to happen… good stuff and bad stuff and if we keep pointing fingers, looking for the bad guy, eventually we come back around to point to ourselves.
photo credit: Making a point via photopin (license)