How to Make a Locksmith Feel Sorry for You

Step One: Make sure your husband is out of town on business.
If this is too difficult to organize, a long commute time will suffice. It will make it more difficult for your spouse to leave work to rescue you.
Step Two: Have at least four children under the age of seven.
The higher the number of not quite school age children that are remarkably verbal for their ages, the better. They can say things like, “I wish dad were home.” and “I wish you would have left me inside so that I could have opened the door.”
Step Three: Orchestrate a big change or major life event.
The goal here is to be frazzled. If your ordinary routine is so complicated that you easily grab your phone and think you have what you need, being in the middle of something like a move to another state will certainly up the pity factor.
Step Four: Be noticeably pregnant.
This works on multiple levels: the locksmith will note the many little bodies running around and marvel at the size of that belly, while also making your tears come quickly and without effort.
Step Five: Make sure you are running late already.
This will also help you forget that your purse (and keys) are still sitting on the counter. It’s even better if you are on your way to taking a child to school. That way you can relive the pity with every staff member you pass in the hallway as you walk your child into school. Beyond late. As your remarkably verbal child retells the morning’s adventure seventeen times.
It is also acceptable to have a series of meetings that run long so that dinner is already late and you think treating the kids might help them forget that you aren’t really on top of things that day.
Step Six: Cry uncontrollably before the locksmith arrives.
You’re pregnant. It’s sorta your thing right now.
Step Seven: Accidentally call the same company that sends the same gentleman that came to help you a few months ago when your husband was out of town, you were pregnant, and running late.
It’s a nice touch if you don’t immediately recognize him because you are too embarrassed to make eye contact. Then he will go out of his way to figure out why you and your securely locked home are so familiar. He will then give you his cell number so that you can just call him directly next time, and offer to help the next time at no charge. THE NEXT TIME.
Step Eight: Lock yourself out right as all your neighbors are getting home. On trash day.
This way you will really earn the pity by standing in your front yard, blotchy faced and swollen eyed as the neighbors wave to you and notice the kind gentleman that is breaking into your home for you.
Step Nine: Don’t remember which way your lock turns.
This will extend the humiliation as it will take him longer to open the door. It also allows for…
Step Ten: Forget to change your youngest child’s diaper before you walk out the door so he pees through and onto your shirt. (Bonus points if you never put a change of clothes back into the diaper bag.)
If you live in a particularly humid climate and share every inch of air with mosquitoes, your youngest will be mostly bare skinned, and the mosquito bites will immediately begin to swell all over his soft, sweet skin.
 
With these ten easy steps, you will have a locksmith apologizing to you for you locking your keys in your home in no time!
photo credit: The Door via photopin (license)