Men, unlike women, do not have ‘fertility cycles’. Their ability to produce offspring is not dependent on a particular physiological and hormonal environment that only occurs for a few days each month. Healthy men are always fertile, always biologically ready to become fathers. Women, on the other hand, have cyclical fertility. Besides meaning that the possibility of pregnancy is only on the table for a short time each cycle, they experience a whole range of biological and emotional changes on a regular basis. Learning about a woman’s cycle and its influence on fertility, health and lifestyle is called fertility awareness. So is there any value at all in men obtaining this knowledge? Surely, it doesn’t affect them at all. Or does it?
A funny thing happens when men learn fertility awareness. Actually, a few funny things.
1. He better understands the women in his life.
Whether he is married, dating, or single, knowledge of a woman’s cycle and how each phase can affect her physically and emotionally is powerful. Suddenly, the mystery of his sister’s ‘moodiness’ or his wife’s seemingly random sensitivity becomes clear. Instead of shrugging it off and saying, “It’s just her time of month!” like the rest of the guys, he is better able to live with women with true understanding, validate their experiences, and even better communicate with them what his needs are, no matter what’s going on in their cycles. This is potentially life-changing stuff, fellas!
2. He’s prepared for the more intimate parts of a relationship.
And no, I don’t necessarily mean sex. I mean things like menstrual blood. Childbirth. Breastfeeding. Menopause. Knowledge is power, and some men are totally freaked out by these normal biological processes simply because they don’t know what the heck is going on. Learning about his wife’s body not only means that they BOTH more comfortable with the daily realities of their lives, but also that they are prepared for deeper involvement and togetherness in some of their most important moments as a couple, such as having a child.
3. He can avoid contraception
This is a big one. A lot of people assume there are basically two ways to avoid pregnancy – either the guy does it (condoms, vasectomy, etc.) or the woman does it (hormonal contraception, internal devices, tubal ligation, etc.). But with fertility awareness, a couple can actually identify the brief window of fertility that occurs only once in a woman’s menstrual cycle, and simply avoid sexual relations during that time. This is called natural family planning, and it’s revolutionary. Because let’s face it, no one likes condoms, and there is a growing awareness of just how unhealthy and potentially dangerous many ‘female’ contraceptives can be. Not to mention they can seriously mess with a woman’s mood, and therefore her relationships. Oh, and natural family planning (NFP) is 99.4% effective – so that’s pretty awesome.
4. Better sex.
Now, in order to practice NFP effectively, abstinence is involved during the fertile time of a woman’s cycle. Though this isn’t always easy, it’s not a total kill joy – many couples find it actually creates a natural ‘courtship and honeymoon’ cycle in their relationship on a monthly basis. Plus, women tend to have stronger libidos when unfettered by artificial chemical hormones. Oh, and no condoms. With NFP, there is quite literally nothing interfering with the sexual union. Also, with all the extra communication and understanding detailed in point #1, many couples experience increased emotional intimacy, which can spill over into the bedroom. So if you decide to learn fertility awareness, prepare for a rocking sex life!
With all these benefits, why don’t more men want to learn about their lady’s body? I think we all tend to fear what we don’t know, but I honestly believe that society as a whole would be better off if men and women understood the fundamentals of human fertility and its effects on daily life. If you’re curious about learning more, get in touch with a natural family planning instructor. I guarantee you won’t regret it.
NFP stat source: http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/22/5/1310.long