Having it all as the Mother of Five

 

I sit down to write this blog post (which is 5 days overdue) between three kids jumping on the trampoline with large bouncy balls, one playing a computer game, one riding his bike in the alley behind our house, and my husband sleeping off a night-shift from the night before. I have ushered four of the kids outside to keep the house as quiet as possible and allowed the oldest to stay in and quietly play games on his favorite website. I start the self-congratulatory post on “having it all” as a modern mother and let my mind momentarily wander to images of awards and celebrations for me, the Mom Who Can Do It All. I am jolted to reality by a car horn a block away and remember I’ve got a kid on a bike out back. It’s been about 6 minutes since I sat down. I run downstairs to check that the kids are all still playing, not missing, and not bleeding or otherwise upset about their situation.  All seems well.
I get distracted on my way back to my computer and fill my coffee cup for the third time this morning. Then I change the laundry and end up picking up toys until I remember I only have 45 minutes to work on this post before I have to get the kids ready for the play date at the park. I rush back upstairs to my office to work in peace (with the window open so I can hear all the littles playing).
I sit back down, reread the three sentences I had managed to write before I got up to check on the kids and realize that I didn’t put sunscreen on the baby who is about as blonde as an albino monkey. I head back downstairs and outside to wrangle him and slather with cream. This time I get distracted by the weeds in the garden and start pulling weeds before I know what I’m doing. Tick Tock; time is inching closer to our play date at the park. I am jerked back to attention as the one playing the computer game asks me to come in and help him log into his Lego account. Oh yeah, computer! Log in….. Writing! What am I doing in the garden?!? Weeds abandoned to live another day, I rush back in.
Kid logged into website, me back in my chair…where was I? Oh yes, a brilliant post on how us modern mothers can juggle the chaos of family life with work and recreation and come out feeling fulfilled and satisfied at the end of each day. Yes, this post will give a real life look at how I, one such mother is managing to balance it all.
Screaming from the trampoline sends me running down the steps just as I am about to begin the paragraph on the importance of gentle parenting. As I realize that no one was hurt and that the source of the screaming is the brother who keeps throwing everyone else’s balls off the trampoline, the gentle mother in me takes a short vacation to her tranquil place while the less than sweet version takes away all the balls and sends them all to the sandbox instead. Hrrmph. That kid….mumble, mumble, gray hairs….mumble…early grave…mumble…military school…
Deep breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. Sitting back down to write this *amn post.
I glance at the clock. What?! Only 20 minutes until the playdate? How did that happen? Now Albino Monkey Baby is pulling on my arm and hitting me with his sand encrusted sippy cup saying “Mom, Mom, Mom, more appoo jewwsce”. How did he get in here so fast? I try to pull a fast one on him and use the water bottle at my desk to fill up his cup. He’s no dummy. “NOOOOO!!!! Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! More appoo jewsce!”  Ah crap, he’s going to wake up my husband! Ok, ok baby, ssshhhh! Let’s get some more apple juice.
Downstairs, juice in the cup, check on the sandbox, the alley, the computer kid. Wait, where is the alley kid?! There’s the bike, where is he? Heart in my stomach I run back out to find him. Thank goodness! There he is, peeing on the telephone pole in the alley, like the stray dogs that wander past do. Get in here kid! Use a toilet, you are NOT an animal!
Fifteen minutes until play date. Time for clean clothes. I begin rummaging through unfolded baskets of laundry to find something presentable. Find your shoes kids!!! Why are there never any matches?! Socks, shoes….all singles. WHY?!?  What is that smell??? Baby pooped. Of course he did. And why not? Everybody poops.
I holler out to the sandbox, please get changed and find your shoes. I embark on tracking down the box of baby wipes and a diaper for Stinky. Ah yes, I left them in the bathroom. What? The bathroom door is locked and I can hear the bathwater running. Who is in there??? Knock, knock, what’s going on in there? Alley Boy has decided to take a bath since being sent to the bathroom. NO! Not now kid, open the door. I hear a splash and thud as naked kid slips on the wet floor. Wailing! Wait, that’s me. The door opens, I find the wipes, give instructions to get clean clothes on and grab the baby for a clean diaper.
Seven minutes. Diaper changed. Kids fighting in the kitchen. I go to break it up and realize I didn’t pack sandwiches yet for the park. One kid half dressed, two covered in sand, baby banging sippy cup yelling “More jewwsce pweez!”.  I’m about to CRACK! My husband wanders in bleary eyed and mostly sleeping.
I start crying and the dear man gives me a merciful hug.
“Kids get in the van,” my husband says. He tells me to go through the Dairy Queen drive through and get cheeseburgers for the park. The kids cheer and run happily out to the van. He wipes my tears and tells me I’m doing fine, just relax and enjoy the sunshine. I sniffle and manage a smile as I get my purse and sunglasses together. Dad finds and sends out the oldest kid who was still engrossed in the Lego website.
They are all dirty, there are no healthy homemade sandwiches or veggies, my dishes and laundry are not done, the blog post remains at seven run-on sentences which aren’t even very good….but we are on our way to the park and everybody is happy. I really do have it all I realize as I pull away from the house nearly on time. But not because I can do it all by myself. I have it all because I have people in my life who love me and will help me when I truly need it.
My life is very full. Full of chaos and noise and distraction. It is hard for me to find time to take a shower let alone stop to recognize how amazing it is to be loved and the center of six other people’s worlds. But I am. I may not ever win any of the Pinterest awards for best anything to do with homemaking, but when I can spend a day at the park with DQ cheeseburgers, some good friends, watching my children in their dirty glory with smiles on their faces; I realize that THIS is what having it all means.
I love my work outside the home but the ability to put things aside for my family is what truly makes me happy. I do a lot of other things in my life as a non-profit founder and a lactation consultant but when it comes down to it, nothing comes anywhere near to what I do as a mother.