In general, there are few things that can entice me to grocery shop with all of my kids in tow, for obvious reasons, but deals too good to pass up is one of them.  Our local grocery store has a “Dollar Day” four times a year.  I prep my list the night before, bring a snack to shamelessly bribe the kids with post-trip, say a prayer, and hope for the best.
A few weeks ago, I strapped on my ten month old, loaded the six and four-year-olds into the “car” attached to the front of the cart, and popped the two-year-old into the front of the cart.  This lovely arrangement lasted about 7.5 seconds before said two-year-old decided she would rather walk, the denial of which resulted in loud, dramatic complaints.  At this point, any sane mother would have likely headed back to the car, deals to be had or not, but I decided to just plow onward.  Fifteen (long) minutes later, I checked out with 75% of the kids now protesting various injustices.  In situations like this, when I feel like a walking birth control ad, I am even more aware of the importance of being a pro-life witness.  I gave the cashier a gigantic (albeit somewhat forced) smile and told her to have a great day.  As I turned to start bagging the groceries up, I heard someone say, “Would you like a hand with those?”  I looked up to see a friend’s mom, a woman who raised five kids and, as she noted, has “been there and lived to tell about it.”  I was immediately filled with overwhelming gratitude.
Any mom who has more than the socially acceptable 2.3 children has no doubt heard variations of “You sure have your hands full!” (I did before even entering the grocery store), but how often do those moms hear that glorious phrase my friend’s mom asked?  Many people, upon seeing someone with their arms full of packages, bags, etc., won’t hesitate to ask if they can help.  So why do we as a society shy away from helping, or at least asking to help, mothers with their arms full of children?  Why is our conditioned response to tell a woman with children that she has her hands full?  No one would, upon seeing someone drowning, yell to him, “Boy, you sure are drowning!”  This analogy may seem snarky or dramatic, and I use it only to make a point.  I do know that many people are simply afraid of interfering or offending the mother in our easily offended culture, and I have of course encountered wonderful strangers who give me an understanding and encouraging smile, little old ladies with tears in their eyes who remind me it all goes so fast, and even people who stop their own busy days to help for just a moment.  These little things give me so much encouragement as a mom, and I always pray that I will be bold and courageous enough to encourage other moms in tough situations.
A friend recently shared a story of taking five of her children out to eat, the youngest of whom is six.  As they were sitting quietly, perusing the menus, a waitress approached.  The first words out of her mouth were not “Hello,” or “How are you doing?”, but rather, “Boy!  You sure have your hands full!”  My friend said she looked around at her well-behaved, self-sufficient children and thought, ‘Not really.’
We live in a culture that views children as a burden rather than a blessing.  Having more than two children constitutes a handful and something to be avoided.   The Guiding Star Project’s informational video clip uses the George Meredith quote,  “What a woman thinks of other women is the test of her true nature.”  I would take this one step further and argue that what a society thinks of children is the test of its true nature.  We needn’t look far to see that our society’s priorities where children are concerned are greatly lacking.
This is why I love the Guiding Star Project so much.  The Guiding Star Project is working to create a culture where children are viewed as blessings; a culture where moms have the help they need to endure the craziness of motherhood; a culture that asks, “Would you like a hand?” rather than noting the obvious.  Each day, with your help, the Guiding Star Project is becoming more and more of a reality.  It is my hope that by the time my children are having their own children, we will live in a culture that values women and life so much that my grandchildren will never hear how full their mother’s hands are, but only see how full her heart is.
photo credit: Chung Ho Leung via photopin cc