It is becoming increasingly clearer with time and research that the magic birth control Pill sold to women as the answer to all sexual inequity is merely a cancer causing, stroke starting, problem masking, and fertility decreasing mess of a “medication”. It hasn’t helped women become any more self actualized and in reality has created a strange dissonance for many modern women about how to handle and accept the natural functions of their healthy bodies.
Many women are slowly waking up and deciding that they’d rather plan their pregnancies naturally and work with their bodies instead of suppressing them. There is a slow, but steady growth of women who are insisting on following their cycles of natural fertility and using the signposts of fertility to plan their sexual encounters. That’s great, but what about the men?
After all it takes two….or does it?
Men no longer had any obligation to pay attention to or honor the natural fertility of their female partner because, well, that was a woman’s issue. If she decided to use the Pill and suppress her fertility, that was her problem. And if she didn’t and she accidentally got pregnant, well that was also her problem. As the next logical step in handing over all responsibility of fertility management was also handing over all responsibility in pregnancy management; men were now completely removed from the discussion about the creation of life through the sexual act.
And many men seem fine with that.
We see groups of men like BroChoice and the boys of the Red Pill movement who seem perfectly content to openly use women’s bodies. With the protections of birth control and abortion on demand to keep them free from all responsibilities that the consequences of their actions would naturally bring they are free to share tips about manipulating women into abortions and shaming women for not having sex with them after buying them dinner. They expect women to accommodate male fertility by suppressing or destroying their own. They take little responsibility for the fact that they are fertile 100% of the time, while their female partner would naturally only be fertile about 4-7 days per month. They place all the weight for their physical wants on women because sex is not about respecting their partner, caring for her, or getting to know her as a unique person anyhow. Why in the world would they care what her typical menstrual cycle looks like or want to understand if she’s even fertile at all at the time of their encounter?
These men are the result of the expectation for women to suppress their fertility. They are weak, indulgent, self-centered, and entitled. And sadly there are so many of these guys walking around now that many women don’t even know that there is a different breed; a different class of men that exists. Real MEN.
Let’s paint a different picture now of men. Men that are capable of learning about signposts of female fertility; things like cervical mucus, basal body temperatures, breast tenderness, etc. Men that can apply these signs to their decision making process concerning sex. Say what?! Men capable of making a decision about sex? You mean there is a decision involved? Not just an assumption that if they can they will? Men that actually might have the opportunity for sex yet possess the ability to DECIDE whether or not to have it based upon the fertility of their partner???
I tell you, they DO exist. Ladies, take heart. These are the Men of the Natural Fertility Revolution.
They are self-disciplined, respectful, smart, intuitive, STRONG, discerning, selfless, loving, and sacrificial men. They are team players and see their partners as just that; a person with whom to make decisions about their shared fertility and work together toward a common goal. These men are a cut above the rest. They do not expect others to change themselves biologically to accommodate their sexual desires. They expect to respect the shared fertility that comes with being human persons in their child-bearing years. They are not afraid of a little abstinence and willingly make this sacrifice for the good of their relationship and the good of their partner. They are real men.
These men respect that women come with the gift of fertility. Yes, the gift. Not the burden. You see, real men can see that women are incredibly built to handle the stress and strain of carrying a new life into this world. They see female fertility as an attribute and something to be fearfully respected. They may still fear the amazing power of female fertility, but they never run from their fears. They face it head on and use their own strengths to work with their partner. And when they do they often find that the women in their lives end up feeling cherished and honored instead of manipulated and used. They experience rates of divorce that are almost unheard of and still enjoy the efficacy rate of the Pill in avoiding pregnancy.
I have been so lucky to meet many of these men. They are not as rare as most would make you believe, but they do sometimes need encouragement to develop into the men they are capable of being. They have not been told how great they can be and have been told by society that things like caring about women’s health is not their business. Well it is. It’s all our business because well, it just is. Women’s health is where the future of our species comes from. If we don’t handle it with care and understanding we risk our very existence.
So men, please do not fall for the lies that you are obsolete in the fertility discussions. Get in there and show women you are capable of being a MAN. Offer to chart her temperature every morning. Put the stickers on her chart. Tell her that you think her cervical mucus is sexy. Ok, well maybe just tell she is lovely and offer to support her body to function as naturally as possible. When you step up and honor women the way we were naturally created there is going to be a culture shift that takes place. Men and women will actually stop seeing each other as the enemy and see the contributions of one another as valuable and necessary. Women won’t feel a need to put men in their place by doing everything men can do because you will have already admitted that there is nothing greater than our ability to bear new life. You respecting us the way we naturally are will truly change the world. Because that is what real men do best.