The Single Voice

I’ve never done this before.  The blogging world is totally new to me and though I’ve wanted to support The Guiding Star Project by writing about my personal experiences I never thought I’d actually do it.  Why, you ask? Because I’m single.  No, that’s not a billboard statement in hopes of getting a husband or even some sympathy. (Although I wouldn’t mind a husband! 🙂 )  But often, I feel I have nothing to offer the conversation.  I’m not a mom.  I’m not pregnant.  I’m not married.  I’m not having sex.   So, does my opinion really hold any weight in the conversation?  I’m afraid that I’ll offend someone with an opinion that doesn’t fully take into consideration what those situations require.  I’m afraid of conflict and the inability to clearly defend my position.  But I’m certain I am not alone, so I’m breaking the silence!

I believe that my experience in the battle to restore feminism to its place of dignity is unique from many in this movement.  I’m in the trenches of secular culture, working in Corporate America and at the same time, trying to find a husband who shares in the dignity and genius of women.  How’s that for a tall order?

The reason I wanted to write this is because of something that happened at work this week.  In a team meeting, a co-worker announced he and his wife were expecting their first child.  The usual round of “congrats!” filled the room but were quickly overshadowed by negative banter about how little sleep they’d get, laughter about how their lives would be over, and a story of a friend who had to “BEG” her husband for one more child and then ended up having triplets.  This type of situation happens often and typically boarders on being inappropriate at work.  I always struggle to find a response that acknowledges the challenges of parenthood but also celebrates its beautiful gifts as well.  In this week’s interaction, I responded to the story of the triplets with, “That’s awesome!” trying desperately to show that life is a gift and that when we are open to life, miracles can abound.  I was quickly met with, “No it’s not!” which of course made me sad.  Sad that today’s culture is so firm in wanting the perfect 1.2 children so as not to impede upon careers, vacations, and lifestyle choices.  Sad that there simply isn’t an openness to life or what God may be asking of a husband a wife.  And sad that I was the only one in a room full of ten or more people who had anything positive to say.
So, how did that meeting end?  Feeling the room filling louder and louder with negative comments and jokes, I loudly and purposefully said, “WELL, Paul, CONGRATULATIONS!”  The side conversations stopped, the congratulations were expressed once more, and the meeting went back to business.  I refused to participate in talk that devalues life or the sacrifices that make relationships meaningful.
Because I have not experienced marriage or motherhood myself, I often feel like my opinions are viewed as invalid.  I do my very best to be positive about women, their feminine genius, the marriage covenant, the dignity of chastity, and the gift of children.  I may not have as much personal experience as others but I can still speak the truth.
Jason Jones recently spoke and talked about how Dr. Alan Keyes once said to him, “The darker the world becomes, the brighter your light will shine.”  So ladies, remember that no matter what your life experience, your voice counts!   Speak the truth!  Acknowledge the sacrifices and challenges but also hold firm to the beauty of life.  You will be a beacon on a hill and a beautiful light in the darkness, doing your part to create a culture of life.

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3 thoughts on “The Single Voice”

  1. On behalf of all pregnant women, thank you! It’s very overwhelming when you are nine months pregnant and all you hear from people in the office is, “Get your sleep now cuz you won’t get any after the baby’s born!” It’s true that having a baby is HARD work, and there’s ways to acknowledge that while also affirming the WONDERFUL work that mothers are doing. Life-changing, transformative, sacrifice, and beautiful…I now try to use those words liberally when talking to new moms. 🙂

  2. Way to go! I haven’t run into that too much yet at my work, but I’ll be sure to remember your blog next time I do!
    Single women for the proper feminism! 🙂

  3. Pingback: Pro-life blog buzz 3-15-13

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