My husband and I are currently expecting our fourth child, due May 1st.  I’m just over halfway there, and at that glorious (and oh too short!) point of pregnancy where I am large enough that people aren’t wondering if I’m expecting or just ate too much for lunch, but not yet large enough to be too uncomfortable.  This is my second Christmas being pregnant, but my first being “comfortably pregnant;” with our son, I was gagging over the smell of Christmas cookies, an event that seemed downright tragic at the time.
I have always loved pondering Mary’s pregnancy with Jesus, and actually being pregnant myself this year gave me even more food for thought.  Our oldest child just turned five, meaning our kids are fairly close together.  We run with a pretty pro-life crowd, full of 15 passenger vans and babies galore.  So in general, most people in our life haven’t been very scandalized when we’ve told them #4 is baking.  However, we do occasionally venture out of our world of little people to more universal places, such as the grocery store.  It’s always….shall we say, interesting to hear (or see, as the case may be!) people’s reactions upon seeing our crew.  My favorites, of course, are the little old ladies who tear up and tell me how blessed I am, usually adding how many kids they had and how long it’s been since their youngest left home.  And then there’s the people who are just generally in shock that anyone would have four kids period, let alone four kids in five years.  Their reactions are usually more amusing than anything (“Boy, you’ve sure got your hands full!”) and I try to always give a smile and a charitable, “Yes, I am never, ever bored!” or “Better full than empty!” But then there is another set of people, thankfully rare, who will give a far from polite reaction, often loudly.  It amazes me that in our politically correct culture, where people strive so hard to avoid offending anyone, ever, family size seems to be one of the few things left that is fair game for anyone to voice their opinion about, even to complete strangers.  As my daughter is getting to an age where she comprehends more, I cringe when I encounter these people, as I never want her to feel like she or any of her siblings are a burden or ought not to have been born.

So, to return to Mary, one thing in particular that always gets me is just how scandalous her pregnancy must have been.  In today’s world, teen pregnancies and out-of-wedlock pregnancies are more common, particularly the latter.  But for Mary, a 14 year old unmarried teenager, her pregnancy would have been downright shocking.  I always think of Joseph as well, and how much he must have loved Mary to have stood by her anyway, despite her seemingly “crazy” story of how she became pregnant.  To continue to support her in her pregnancy despite the mysterious circumstances surrounding it shows a true and real love.  It always makes me think- how many women today find themselves pregnant and overwhelmed, lacking the support they need to be encouraged and believed in, that they too  might choose life, despite less than ideal circumstances?

I will never forget when I was pregnant with our daughter, Mary.  I had just turned 26, was in a fantastic NFP-using marriage that had purposefully conceived her, and I was completely overwhelmed.  The fact that I was about to a, have a BABY, and b, be completely in charge (well, co-in charge) of raising her was almost more terrifying than my hormonal self could fathom.  For the first time in my entire life, I found myself understanding and empathizing with how a woman could feel she had no other option than to choose to kill her child.  If I, having a child under the most ideal circumstances possible, were feeling so overwhelmed, how on earth must an unmarried teenager or a single mom living in poverty feel?  The moment of newfound empathy was so grace-filled and so eye-opening that I headed to an abortion clinic where I used to pray during college.  As I waddled up the sidewalk to join the other rosary-wielding prayer warriors, a middle aged man noticed my seven-months pregnant self.  His face went completely white, a reaction I definitely was not expecting from a peaceful man in the middle of praying to save babies.  I suddenly realized with horror that he thought I was there to USE the clinic.  I quickly whipped out my rosary and greeted him with a hearty hello.  That day I wept, praying with a fervor and empathy I had never before felt for the women heading into the clinic.  It was an experience I have never forgotten, and one that I often come back to when wondering how we can help women choose life.

The number of lives lost every day (almost 4,000 in the US alone) is staggering.  What might these lives have done had they been allowed to live?  Cured cancer?  Discovered new ways of using energy?  Simply been a friend to someone who needed one?  How many “world changers” have we lost?  Had Mary not been so courageous, and had she not been so supported by Joseph and others, Jesus, arguably the most influential man to walk the face of the earth, would not have been born.  As we enter into another year, may we always be looking for ways to support women and help them choose life.