It’s that time for me again. Just recently I started the third trimester of my fourth pregnancy. My family is used to what happens next, and this time around, I’m fully embracing the crazy lady that is starting to emerge. Like many women who feel their bellies expanding daily, I become consumed body and soul with the thoughts of impending labor, delivery, and the transition of a child into this world.
Giving birth, for many women, is different every time. I’m no exception. I’ve had a hospital birth with interventions, a hospital birth with no intervention, and a homebirth in a birthing pool. Even though the preparation has been the same each time, the three births yielded very different experiences. At home raising sons leaves time for little else, but if I can be an advocate for women in any area, the love due a child by a mother, which for so many is an instinct so strong it changes lives, would be my cause.
One of the most tragic beliefs of women today is the belief that they are not enough, that more could be achieved by them, and that unless every societal expectation has been met, she has failed. Feminism has told woman that they are not enough, while new feminism tells woman they are incredibly made. Feminism ridicules women for their motherhood, while new feminism honors them for it.
Having several friends, and going through a similar experience, I see the after-effects of feminism creeping its way even into the most joyous occasions—childbirth. While natural childbirth is an issue close to my heart, many women, through no fault of their own, haven’t been able to achieve this kind of birth. The saddest thing for me, when walking into a hospital room to visit a beaming mother and her beautiful new baby, is to have her share how she feels defeated by not achieving natural childbirth, either through interventions or cesarean. She is not so much disappointed, but nevertheless compelled to justify why and how it happened that she let her gender down.
Ladies, mothers, expectant mothers, regardless of the mechanics in which your pride and joy came into the world, it is never anything to apologize for! The after-effects of feminism have convinced women that despite our nine months of carrying and loving our child within, that we are still not enough. New feminism embraces and congratulates you while helping to heal the scars that convinced you long ago of a  false idea of womanhood. There is no question that natural childbirth is empowering, but as women, we cannot use natural childbirth as a tool to gauge the “womaness” of a mother and then judge her on the scales of female strength.
I’m not an expert, nor am I in the medical field, but if natural childbirth is a goal, then I would love to help you achieve your ideal birth. There are hundreds of books on childbirth, and many techniques to help manage labor, but I can only write of the ones I have had personal experience with. There are other resources women swear by, but I can’t put my name on them yet. If there is one unlisted that has helped any readers, please share it in the comments.
For those who desire a natural childbirth, but for whatever reason haven’t had one, I encourage you to put any feelings of defeat aside. No one should make a woman feel guilty for the outcome of her birth, nor be made to feel like her body is in some way inadequate. A child is a beautiful and perfect person, and the miracle motherhood rises far above any kind of delivery.
Natural Childbirth Resources
Husband Coached Childbirth, by Robert Bradley
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg
Spiritual Midwifery, by Ina May Gaskin
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin
As for those who share my present condition, the pages of the above books are getting turned again for the fourth time, perhaps we’re reading in solidarity. My body and mind are preparing for labor and delivery, which while the outcome is yet unknown, I insist on rejoicing in every birth, regardless of the method in which it is achieved. There is a new person. That is the real achievement.