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This year I took up coaching fastpitch softball for girls 10 years and under. I’ve been tasked with the job of organizing a group of (mostly inexperienced) girls into a team. I’m not even sure exactly how this happened. The organization my daughter had been playing for did not have enough players to form a team. The problem is — it’s expensive to play softball these days! Our borough generously decided to subsidize a team and charge a fraction of what other teams were charging–but they needed someone to start the program up. In enters me.
I’ve played some form of softball since I was four years old. I love the game. After a week of practice, I started wondering what on earth I had gotten myself into. Teaching young girls to hit, pitch and field wasn’t so bad. That I was prepared for. It was the other parts of coaching that threw me off. I’ve helped my husband coach our sons’ team. But this is a team full of GIRLS! There is something different about coaching girls. So, in case you ever find yourself in this position, I have generously created a list of rules that will help you through the experience.

  1. Never yell. This rule hurts, because I’m a yeller. It doesn’t matter if it’s inconvenient. If you raise your voice at all, someone is going to end up in tears. The very first practice of the year I was at home plate hitting ground balls to the infielders and one young girl missed the ball. I raised my voice so it would carry all the way to short stop to remind the player to keep her glove down and instantly there were tears. I felt like Jimmy Dugan in A League of Their Own — “Are you crying?  There’s no crying in baseball!”  I pretty much manage to make someone cry every game. Remind the girls that you might need to yell, but you’re just being LOUD, not actually yelling at them.
  2. Which leads me to this rule: Identify your players. This will help your practices run a little bit smoother. Usually you will find
    The Criers: See Rule 1
    The Houdini: This is the player who disappears at the first mention of running. Usually heading to the bathroom. This is also the player who will suddenly disappear in the middle of an inning while you are reading the line up or handing out fielding positions.
    The Chatterboxes: These are the players whose first priority is to socialize. They chat the entire practice. You can often times get these players to lead the team in cheers (since that is just another form of talking) or to taunt the other team.
    The Dreamer: This is the player who chases butterflies in the outfield and makes sandcastles in the infield. You might think this player wasn’t going to make it past t-ball, but be prepared to find at least one of these girls on your team.
  3. Make sure to tell your players to be at the field at least 10 minutes before you want them there. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell them not to show up in jewelry, they will. They will also look at you in disbelief when you ask them to take out their earrings before the game begins, as if this is a new rule you made up just for the day. “You’re killing me, Smalls!” If you really want to be on top of things, bring small ziplock bags for them to put said contraband items in or you might go home with a pocketful of junk jewelry.
  4. Be prepared for a little bit of drama. Girls can’t erase a bad day just by stepping onto the ball field. The will bring their worries to practices and games. Mistakes will be made. These are times you do your best Taylor Swift impression and shake your booty while singing “Shake it off”. You’ll at least get a half smile from most and if you are REALLY lucky, you’ll get one of the Chatterboxes to join in with you and hopefully this will help them focus on the game and not think about their worries.
  5. This rule is really for any coach, not just coaches of young girls. Arm yourself with a sense of humor, patience and a good work ethic. There will be ups and there will be downs. Just remember that it’s a game. The girls look up to you. If you can’t teach them to be a good ball player it’s ok. “Hard work may not always result in success, but it will never result in regret.” ~ Moneyball

Coaching can be stressful. But it’s worth it to see the girls improve and out there having some fun. I think I have many years of coaching ahead of me. And I think each new team will bring it’s own surprises.
“A good friend of mine used to say, ‘This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.’ Think about that for a while.” -Bull Durham
photo credit: MISD2012_030312_135613_111_8x10 via photopin (license)